A couple of nights ago I was dreaming about something that I don't recall, but I ended up on a motorway in a very angry state and I threw some giant, uncooked sausages at a couple of those big roadsigns. Not satisfied with my crime (yes, it was a crime in dreamland) I decided to throw these big metal things that were a bit like grappling hooks but the spikes were wrong. So I threw one of these at each sign and they both made a hole and stuck in it near the top of the signs. This was a terrible crime in dream world so naturally, as soon as the rage subsided, I was terrified of the consequences and I couldn't remove the offending objects which bore my fingerprints and a certain prison sentence.
I returned to the scene of the crime the next day (apparently it's the thing to do) and found that Alys was in charge of the investigation (I was unaware she was a detective but...). So I casually asked what was going on and she explained the terrible crime that had been committed, to which I acted surprised. I contemplated touching the evidence and contaminating it with my fingerprints, thus ruling out my real fingerprints as forensic evidence. Then I thought about coming clean to Alys in the hope she would cover for me and let me get away with it.
I woke up before deciding what to do, I wonder if I would have been found out in the end?
Last night I had a strange dream that was a bit like a murder mystery, except everyone involved didn't know about it and it was more supernatural. I don't really remember all the details, but it ended with everyone but me being dead, and I was fighting a fairly attractive woman (who may have been a witch of some sort) over a magic katana. I think I managed to stab the witch woman with the sword after she bent it which transferred her powers to me somehow, then we continued to fight and I pretended to be losing for a while, which I wasn't because I now had magic powers. I then bent the sword back to normal and sharpened it a bit on the air (magic, who needs science?) to which she seemed fairly astonished. I did the typical laugh and 'you thought you could win?' speech then defeated her. I lost at which point the magic became real instead of pretend but it definitely made for a more interesting dream.
After this, because I had 'won' the erm... experience, I was invited back to be the villain and the only one who would know what was going on. I don't remember a lot of that part, but I do remember that being a baddie is a lot of fun, but I suppose the magical superpowers helped with that. Also the sword, swords are awesome. I probably had a cape too and maybe a top hat.
Hmmm, I realise the only blogs on here are about my dreams. I don't want that to be the only theme here so I'll talk about Alys's party. This may be difficult as I only remember half of it, due to my usual habit of drinking far too much and doing something stupid. It is probably due to the excessive alcohol consumption, but I'm starting to think my tendancy for memory loss may be due to some sort of conscious defence mechanism to stop me remembering the terrible things I do when I'm drunk.
Either way, I don't remember the most eventful parts of the night.
I vaguely remember chatting up anything with boobs for most of the evening but other than that my memory is very patchy. I think the last solid memory I have is everybody singing '500 miles' by The Proclaimers, which was pretty funny. Every time anything slightly rocky was put on the stereo I got shouted at by Alys, even if I was nowhere near it (it wasn't even once me who did it).
In the morning I was explained the things I had forgotten, which included me losing a gay-off to Billy, which frankly I'm glad I'd forgotten. It ended in a distinctly french manner. At least I lost.
There's a rather large gap there punctuated with patches of me talking to various women about... I have no idea... music at one point I am sure.
The night ended with me and a girl called Carmina doing everything but having sex in the middle of the room. I don't remember how we got to that point and I don't even remember talking to her. We had to be moved to a more private place by the embarassed onlookers and I have no idea what happened after that. To my knowledge there was no sexing but I don't remember why.
I was woken up at 10:30 by Alys shouting at me to get out of her brother's bed so he could go to sleep. Selfish bitch.
After that, I had the previous night explained to me by a laughing Billy, who had no sympathy for me whatsoever.
I am bored of writing now and this is becoming more than ridiculously long. I have rambled too much and not tried to make this at all interesting, but that's ok, I predict less than 5 people will ever read it anyway.
"You're a heartbreaker, dream-maker, love-taker, don't you mess around with me"
